Baby Horse Diaries - Sass Levels Reach All Time High
|
|
BREAKING NEWS - Baby Horse Sass Levels Reach All Time High!
This is not fake news. Our sources have confirmed that Baby Niro displayed excessively high levels of sass recently when being ridden in the arena after a week off work. Witnesses report high levels of head tossing and neck flicking, followed by many grunts and the occasional buck and leap. One rider was carted at full speed from one end of the arena to the other at the absolutely horrific sight of a horse walking past on the road.
Based on previous evidence, current sass levels are shown to be at least 300% what was exhibited in the past. Scientists theorize that there may be a direct correlation between baby horse energy levels, and the sass levels shown, with energy levels also sitting at a whopping 300%. Experts are researching ways to decrease energy levels. Results so far have been unsuccessful.
Provided below is a list of things equally as high as Baby Horse Sass Levels at present:
• Donald Trump’s ego.
• Confidence levels of the average white male millennial.
• The Empire State Building.
• Mount Everest.
• Bob Marley’s Ghost.
• The average cost of rent.
• Number of ‘The Bird Box’ memes on social media.
• Number of your New Years resolutions that are already failed.
• The petrol/gasoline price.
• Crime rate in South Africa.
• Number of teenagers who say ‘bae’.
• Amount of people ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’ for some reason.
• Katy Perry’s number of Twitter followers.
• The Mars Rover.
As research has shown, present Baby Horse Sass Levels are TOO DAMN HIGH!
Anonymous Witness: “Usually Niro is an angel and a gentleman. Today, he had so much attitude he might as well have signed up for college, been rejected, started a massive viral online petition to be accepted, and then dropped out after a month of partying. I felt like a bottle of water someone forgot they left in their trunk before they took their car out street racing.”
Clearly this situation is not sustainable. Action has been taken to improve Sass Levels before casualties arise. Baby Niro was reported to have been taken on an uphill canter yesterday, wherein he spooked at a flappy plastic bag and threw his volunteer rider. Rider was unharmed. Sass-depletion efforts continue today with intense schooling and gridwork, and results show some improvement. Large pile of stones was deemed un-spooky, and strides were dropped into only 60% of fences. Moving forward, it is clear that more work is required to stabilize Sass Levels back to a sustainable number. Experts suggest that resting Baby Horses should be avoided wherever possible to prevent Sass Skyrocketing issues from repeating.
This story brought to you by Baby Horse Diaries and De Niro’s inflated attitude.
Check out another Polo The Weirdo Article Trick Training - Teach Your Horse to Kiss. |
|
|
Related Horse News
|
|
Since I have had my Baby Horses, Sunny and De Niro, I have had one fall off each, which is really not bad going through all the toddler tantrums! Honestly, I was feeling quite proud of myself. Until today. ...
|
|
Some of you might remember that about 8 years ago I created a series on Ponybox documenting my progress in retraining a young Thoroughbred racehorse, Moonfire, for his eventing career. Those of you who continued to follow my (admi ...
|
|
Baby horses are really neat. When you get them they are stupid. You know they’re stupid, any rational human being can expect them to be stupid, and they don’t know they’re stupid because they don’t know anything. Because they’re s ...
|
|
Today I would like to introduce the stars of our series, VanRee De Niro (Baby Niro), and Little Miss Sunshine (Baby Sunny). ...
|
|
Yesterday, while dressing to go down to the stables and exercise the half-ton creatures that spend their lives trying to kill me, I got my foot stuck in a hole in my underwear that was definitely not supposed to be there. This mad ...
|
|
Baby horses, like most babies, are curious, energetic and playful beings that constantly seek out new means of entertainment. In fact, one of the most fun things about having a baby horse is all the wonderful new games that you ge ...
|
|
This is not fake news. Our sources have confirmed that Baby Niro displayed excessively high levels of sass recently when being ridden in the arena after a week off work. Witnesses report high levels of head tossing and neck flicki ...
|
|
So you just bought yourself a baby horse? I bet you’re wondering what you’ll need to help you in this new chapter of your life! Well never fear, Baby Horse Diaries is here to answer all of your questions. To create your own Baby H ...
|
|
If you’ve ever owned, trained, or otherwise interacted with a baby horse, you will know that sometimes they just seem to see the world differently to us. Whether it’s the shallow rain puddle that’s clearly hiding sharks, or the in ...
|
|
Here is my top 10 SECRET list of master plans for dealing with excess energy in horses. ...
|
|
More News by Polo the Weirdo
|
|
If you are lucky enough to afford an extremely expensive imported horse, it will spook at its own fart in the quarantine paddock and immediately sustain a career-ending injury. ...
|
|
Welcome to part 2 in our quest of finding the best gadgets and gimmicks that can actually help you to improve your riding! Put your body where it should be, and let your brain figure out how to keep it there. You’ll have that perf ...
|
|
Do you always find yourself riding with toes like a ballerina? Do you stare into your own lap as if the secrets of the universe are stitched into the crotch of your joddies? Do you ride with shoulders that would make the Hunchback ...
|
|
Gadgets often get a poor reputation in the equestrian world due to their misuse on equine athletes often resulting in harmful or abusive conditions. The debate on whether or not gadgets (like side reins, etc.) ought to be used on ...
|
|
The elongated shutdown of racing brings with it many great consequences, many of which are already beginning to show as owners, breeders and trainers alike are forced to begin euthanasia of horses they can no longer afford to keep ...
|
|
With the Covid-19 pandemic sweeping the globe, people the world over are doing exactly what one would expect modern man to do in a time of great crisis. They are binge-watching eccentric Netflix documentaries. The specific documen ...
|
|
With our current global pandemic, many equestrians the world over are suddenly being forced to face a horseless reality as entire nations enter lockdown. It is a miserable and testing time, but equestrians are tough. We’re gonna m ...
|
|
On the first day of lockdown, most of us sat in our homes. Silent, shellshocked, looking through old pictures of our horses and trying to come to terms with the fact that we had to be without them for 3 whole weeks. Worrying about ...
|
|
|