Five Very Good Reasons To Learn To Use English
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Punctuation can save lives
Example 1
Lucy: "Shall we eat, Fred?"
Fred: "Sure, I’m starving!"
Example 2
Lucy: "Shall we eat Fred?"
Tom: "Sure, I’m starving!"
Jerry: "I’ll grab the spices!"
Cindy: "I’ll catch Fred!"
Fred: *Fred refused to take part in this act, since he feared it may have proved hazardous to his health.*
Chatspeak can lead to misunderstandings
Example 1
Lucy: "Fred, what is the matter with you today?"
Fred: "IDK."
Lucy: *Gasps* "Internal Derangement of the Knee?! Oh my, that must be painful! Say, Fred, are you okay? Who is going to treat this?!"
Fred: "LOL!"
Lucy: "A little old lady? Why, Fred, are you sure that is wise? What if she has failing vision, or shaking hands?"
Fred: "…BRB."
Lucy: "Fred…? Fred? Fred, where are you?! Don’t do it, Fred! Don’t push the Big Red Button – I was kidding before, I’m sure the little old lady can get you through this! Don’t give up, Fred!"
Lucy: "..."
Lucy: "Fred…? Fred, hello…? Are you there?"
Grammatical errors can make for sticky situations
Example 1
Jerry: "Tom, you make me so angry! I’m going to throw you with a stone!"
Lucy: "Oh, I must see this! Jerry, are you sure you can throw Tom – AND a stone, no less?! Hold on, let me get my video camera…"
Tom: "Go on, Jerry! Throw me!" *Leaps into Jerry’s arms*
Jerry: "Ooof."
Stone: "Thank Heavens… I’m saved!"
Spelling and typing errors can make you look like a fool
The following errors actually appeared in real life situations.
Example 1
Mc Donald’s billboard:
"The restaurant administration is not responsible for the personal staff left unattended."
(That’s right, folks! Gandalf left that scary staff of his unattended in a Mc Donald’s, and it took to leaping up and attacking customers in his absence! Hence, Mc Donald’s had to put up this sign to make sure that they could not be held responsible for any damage done.)
Example 2
A protest board:
"Respect are country! Speak English!"
(I don’t know about you, but I had no idea that ‘Respect’ was a country. Wait… Come to think of it, even that doesn’t make sense. Fail.)
Example 3
An overweight man’s back tattoo:
"Your mine."
(I had no idea I owned a mine! Wow, how exciting! Do you think I should check to see if there is any gold left in it?! I’ll be rich – woohoo!)
Example 4
One of those big white words they paint on the roads:
"SHCOOL"
(Shhh, everybody! How cool is this road?! A moment of silence for its awesomeness, please…)
Example 5
A gravestone:
"One of the best of mother’s. May she rest in peace."
(I would make some sort of sarcastic remark about it… But I am too afraid that I might become Mother’s new ‘best’ work because of it…)
Everybody’s favourite reason to do anything: BECAUSE I SAID SO!
(And yes, the yelling was necessary.)
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I hope all your brains are overflowing with this new knowledge, and that your enlightenment has brought you not only amusement, but motivation to improve your own language usage. Nobody can be perfect, of course. In fact, I daresay I made multiple errors in this article alone. But the bottom line is, if you at least make an effort to speak or type using comprehensible English...Then you will never fall victim to Polo’s sarcastic taunts.
I hope this will serve as motivation enough for most of you!
And on that note, I leave you.
-Polo the Weirdo – self-declared master of mockery. |
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Tilla
*Presses Big Red Button* What will happen now?
*Presses Big Red Button* What will happen now?
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51 days ago
• 4,333 views
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Run Free
polo you have outdone yourself again you always tell us important things in hilarious ways i cant wait for your next artical
polo you have outdone yourself again you always tell us important things in hilarious ways i cant wait for your next artical
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50 days ago
• 4,135 views
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Castaway Wish
Wanna hear a huge fail? A anti-drug organization put 'DON"T DO DRUGS' on pencils, and gave the pencils to students. The students found out by sharpening the pencil, they could have, 'DO DRUGS', and 'DRUGS'. Talk about free advertising. But DO NOT DO DRUGS! They fry your brain. Literally.
Wanna hear a huge fail? A anti-drug organization put 'DON"T DO DRUGS' on pencils, and gave the pencils to students. The students found out by sharpening the pencil, they could have, 'DO DRUGS', and 'DRUGS'. Talk about free advertising. But DO NOT DO DRUGS! They fry your brain. Literally.
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49 days ago
• 4,406 views
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Inactive Member
all i can say is : LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (little old lady)
all i can say is : LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (little old lady)
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48 days ago
• 4,153 views
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Spaztastic
ROTFLSHIDMT (rolling on the floor laughing so hard i dropped my taco) this is the most funniest thing I've heard/read this year xD
ROTFLSHIDMT (rolling on the floor laughing so hard i dropped my taco) this is the most funniest thing I've heard/read this year xD
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43 days ago
• 4,132 views
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Little Bitty Farm
I loved it!It made me lol! Great job!!!
I loved it!It made me lol! Great job!!!
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42 days ago
• 4,161 views
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Soul Horse
*claps* Yay! Someone who knows english! Thank you Polo!
*claps* Yay! Someone who knows english! Thank you Polo!
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41 days ago
• 4,129 views
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Labyrinth
Love the pictures! Hahah!
Love the pictures! Hahah!
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39 days ago
• 4,140 views
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Estella Noire
LOL! Love your articles soo much! This had me laughing :)
LOL! Love your articles soo much! This had me laughing :)
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38 days ago
• 4,129 views
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MS Horses
I love it! Great article!
I love it! Great article!
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36 days ago
• 4,142 views
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Fox Crest Stables
The McDonalds personal staff comment/banner thing has nothing wrong with it. People who work at a place are called the staff. The banner was correct.
The McDonalds personal staff comment/banner thing has nothing wrong with it. People who work at a place are called the staff. The banner was correct.
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34 days ago
• 4,401 views
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scherzo
I despise chat speak. Typos / mistakes I can understand - but I seriously get lost sometimes in chat-speak.
I despise chat speak. Typos / mistakes I can understand - but I seriously get lost sometimes in chat-speak.
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27 days ago
• 4,139 views
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bchia
lol, this made me laugh.
lol, this made me laugh.
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25 days ago
• 4,230 views
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Arialr
This is awesome. Love it.
This is awesome. Love it.
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Jun 4, 2011
• 4,167 views
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Apr 15, 2012
• 4,162 views
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IggyPogo
Self declared master of mockery. I admit, I lost it at that. You are truly one of a kind. XD
Self declared master of mockery. I admit, I lost it at that. You are truly one of a kind. XD
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Jun 18, 2012
• 4,122 views
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Amelia1311
i agree iggy and Polo, u r my fav ponybox writer
i agree iggy and Polo, u r my fav ponybox writer
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Aug 8, 2013
• 3,628 views
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